a solemn and binding agreement between flatmates
The Bylaws of
Chud Night
Governing the Weekly Tuesday Ritual of Collective Indulgence
Established by unanimous greasy-fingered consent
In force perpetually until someone moves out
Contents
WE, the flatmates and participants herein, having recognised the profound cultural and nutritional significance of Tuesday evenings, and being of unsound dietary judgment but sound collective spirit, do hereby establish, ratify, and solemnly commit to these Bylaws governing the institution known as CHUD NIGHT.

These Bylaws shall be interpreted in the spirit in which they were written: with complete seriousness about something very silly.
Article I Definitions
1.
"Chud Night" shall mean the weekly Tuesday gathering of flatmates for the express purpose of communal consumption of junk food, financed collectively, and presided over by the Knight of the Chuds.
2.
"Knight of the Chuds" (hereinafter "the Knight") shall mean the individual designated with supreme executive authority over a given Chud Night, responsible for all purchasing decisions, culinary selections, and the general conduct of that evening's proceedings.
3.
"Chuds of the Night" shall mean all participants in a given Chud Night who do not hold the title of Knight for that session. Each such participant is individually referred to as a "Chud."
4.
"The Order of the Chuds" shall mean the collective body comprising all current and past participants who have attended no fewer than one (1) Chud Night.
5.
"Chuds of the (k)night" shall mean the official group messaging channel of the Order of the Chuds, used for planning, communication, and financial coordination.
6.
"The Knighting" shall mean the formal act by which the incumbent Knight designates their successor for the following week's Chud Night.
7.
"The Treasury of the Night" shall mean the pooled financial contributions made equally by all participants toward the purchases of a given Chud Night.
Article II Chud Night
2.1 — Schedule

Chud Night shall be held every Tuesday. Should a Tuesday fall on a public holiday, illness, or other act of God, the Knight may exercise discretion to reschedule that week's Chud Night to an adjacent evening, subject to consensus among those present in Chuds of the (k)night.

2.2 — Nature of the Event

Chud Night is, at its core, an occasion for the communal procurement and consumption of junk food. The Knight shall exercise broad creative latitude in determining the specific character of each Chud Night, including but not limited to:

  • The type, cuisine, and quantity of food to be procured
  • The total budget for the evening's purchases
  • Any additional activities, themes, or entertainments to accompany the consumption
  • The order and manner in which food shall be obtained

No Chud of the Night may overrule the Knight's decisions regarding the above. Complaints may be voiced but carry no binding authority.

2.3 — Attendance

Attendance is not compulsory; however, any person who declines to attend a given Chud Night forfeits their right to participate in, benefit from, or complain about that evening's proceedings. A non-attending Chud is not required to contribute to the Treasury of the Night for the session they miss.

Article III The Knight of the Chuds
3.1 — Authority

The Knight of the Chuds holds unilateral executive authority over all decisions pertaining to their designated Chud Night. This authority is absolute within the scope of Chud Night activities and may not be challenged, overturned, or otherwise undermined by any Chud of the Night.

3.2 — Duties of the Knight

The Knight shall be responsible for the following:

  • Determining the food and/or beverages to be purchased for the evening
  • Deciding the budget for the night's treasury
  • Making all relevant purchases on behalf of the group
  • Conducting The Knighting before the conclusion of their reign, designating a successor for the following week
3.3 — The Knighting

At some point during their reign — no later than the conclusion of the Chud Night over which they preside — the incumbent Knight must formally designate the next Knight of the Chuds. This act is known as The Knighting.

The Knighting may be performed by any means the incumbent Knight deems appropriately ceremonial, including but not limited to: verbal declaration, text message, tap on the shoulder, or a gesture of bestowment involving a snack.

3.4 — Restriction on Reciprocal Knighting
A Knight may not designate as their successor the individual who designated them. The chain of succession must always advance forward; it may not immediately reverse.

This restriction applies only to the immediate prior Knight. It does not prohibit designating any other eligible member of the Order of the Chuds.

3.5 — Eligibility for Knighthood

Any member of the Order of the Chuds is eligible to be designated as Knight. The incumbent Knight may designate themselves ineligible for a given week only if they have served as Knight in the two immediately preceding weeks. Otherwise, all members — including the current Knight — are valid candidates for succession.

Article IV The Order of the Chuds
4.1 — Membership

Membership in the Order of the Chuds is conferred automatically and irrevocably upon any individual who attends one (1) or more Chud Nights as a participant. There is no application process. Membership is granted by attendance.

4.2 — Rights of Members

All members of the Order of the Chuds shall be entitled to:

  • Access to the Chuds of the (k)night group chat
  • Eligibility for designation as Knight of the Chuds
  • Participation in Chud Night planning discussions within the group chat
  • Equal standing among all other members, irrespective of how many times they have served as Knight
4.3 — Titles

All members of the Order of the Chuds hold one of two titles at any given time:

  • "Knight of the Chuds" — held by the individual currently designated as Knight for the upcoming or current Chud Night.
  • "Chud of the Night" — held by all other members during a session they attend without being Knight.

These titles are not hierarchical in terms of general standing but are operative during Chud Night itself, during which the Knight holds supreme authority as defined in Article III.

Article V Chuds of the (k)night Group Chat
5.1 — Name and Purpose

The official group messaging channel of the Order of the Chuds shall be named "Chuds of the (k)night". The parenthetical "(k)" in the name is silent, deliberate, and non-negotiable.

The group chat serves as the primary administrative organ of Chud Night, fulfilling the following functions:

  • Communication of plans, preferences, and logistical information regarding upcoming Chud Nights
  • Disclosure of bank account details and payment information for the purpose of contribution to the Treasury of the Night
  • General Chud-related discourse
5.2 — Access

Access to Chuds of the (k)night is limited strictly to members of the Order of the Chuds. No individual who has not attended at least one Chud Night shall be admitted to the group chat, regardless of their relationship to existing members. The Knight or any existing member may add a newly eligible member following their first attended Chud Night.

5.3 — Conduct within the Chat

All members are expected to use the group chat responsibly and with reference to its stated purposes. The group chat is not governed by any single authority; however, matters of genuine dispute may be settled by a simple majority vote of participating members.

Article VI Financial Provisions
6.1 — The Treasury of the Night

The financial cost of each Chud Night shall be borne equally by all participants attending that session. Non-attending members are exempt from contribution for that session.

6.2 — Determination of Budget

The Knight of the Chuds shall determine the budget for their Chud Night and shall communicate this amount via Chuds of the (k)night prior to making purchases. The Knight's determination of budget is final.

6.3 — Payment

Each attending participant shall transfer their equal share of the total cost to the Knight of the Chuds. Payment details shall be shared via the group chat. The Knight shall make all purchases on behalf of the group using the pooled funds. Payment shall be made promptly — ideally before or on the day of the relevant Chud Night. Persistent non-payment may be raised as a matter of order within the group chat and addressed by majority consensus.

6.4 — Accounting

The Knight shall, upon completion of purchases, confirm the total amount spent and the individual share owed by each participant. In the event of a surplus, the surplus may be retained by the Knight, applied to a future Chud Night fund, or redistributed equally at the Knight's discretion.

Article VII Amendments

These Bylaws may be amended by unanimous agreement of all active members of the Order of the Chuds, communicated and confirmed via Chuds of the (k)night. No amendment may be made during a Chud Night itself; all proposed amendments must be raised and decided outside of active proceedings.

Any amendment once ratified shall be appended to or recorded alongside this document and shall carry equal force with the original Bylaws.

Article VIII Interpretation & Disputes

In all matters of interpretation, these Bylaws shall be read in the spirit of communal goodwill, comedic intent, and the overriding purpose of having a good Tuesday. Disputes regarding interpretation shall be settled by majority vote of all members present in the group chat.

No individual may unilaterally declare themselves exempt from these Bylaws. All members of the Order of the Chuds are equally subject to its provisions.

Article IX Dissolution

Chud Night and the Order of the Chuds shall continue in perpetuity until such time as all members have vacated the shared residence and no new flatmates remain to carry on the tradition. In the event of dissolution, the final Knight of the Chuds shall preside over a closing ceremony of their choosing.

Should any member leave the household but remain in contact with the Order, their membership shall be preserved and they may, at the Knight's invitation, participate in future Chud Nights as an honoured guest.

In Witness Whereof
The undersigned, being all flatmates of sound mind and questionable appetite, hereby ratify these Bylaws and bind themselves to their provisions.
name
signed
Knight of the Founding Night
name
signed
Chud of the Night
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signed
Chud of the Night
name
signed
Chud of the Night
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 May your Tuesdays be greasy and your Knight be wise.